I awoke with a start, where am I, what happened? Then I remembered losing control of my car on the rain slicked freeway and the sound of the crash as the car piled into a power pole. As I looked around in my sedated state I realized I was not in my own bed but in a hospital somewhere. Then someone came into my room and asked how I felt and I said like Hell, and he said I was damn lucky to be alive. Then he said he was really sorry but my leg was so mangled they had no choice but to amputate. I looked down and through the haze saw that my left leg was gone and I could see the outline of a mid-thigh stump under the covers. Then I slipped back into my drugged sleep. I apparently slept for another 24 hours during which time I dreamt the dream I often had, that I was a one legged guy proudly swinging his stump along on a pair of super custom made crutches.

Finally, I was fully awake, and looking down at my stump I knew this was the real thing and not a fantasy! I threw back the covers and there was the stump I had wanted for so long. Finally, I was the one legged guy I had longed to be, was meant to be, and with my left stump I felt just like my dream man, the one legged stud who is the logo for Secret Garden! Just then the door opened and a tall stud walked in and said he was Dr. Rick Samuel but to call him Rick. He said he'd done my amputation rather than leave me with a useless leg and I said I really appreciated that. Then he said that before I knew it I'd be wearing a limb and be normal again, little did he know! He re-dressed my stump and wrapped it in an ace bandage. He asked if I was in a lot of pain and I said not that much. He said that he'd been able to give me a very good stump and I would be fine. He smiled and said, Larry, I've had my stump for 10 years so I know. And with that he dropped his pants, released the suction socket and slid out his right stump. I laughed and said Rick you are too much! He told me to put my hands on his stump and I said it sure was solid and muscular and he said he exercised his stump every day and he'd show me how to take care of my stump. Rick put his limb back on and as he left the room said he'd be back around 4. I spent the rest of the day admiring and gently feeling my stump and thinking about his incredible stump.

About 4:30 Rick came back to my room and the first thing he asked was if I'd mind if he took off his leg and I said of course not since I had a stump too! He said it was not to soon to start exercising my stump and he began to very gently massage my stump. He said to tell him if it hurt in any way and I said his hands felt incredible on my stump. Rick then asked me to work his stump and as I did he said man that feels fabulous. I said, Rick, you may think I'm nuts, but I think everything happens for a reason and I'm not unhappy having my stump. I told him how I'd smashed up my left leg skiing 6 years ago and was on crutches for over a year and at one point even asked that they take off my leg but they refused. I became totally adjusted to my crutches and even had a pair of beautiful rosewood crutches custom made for me and I felt fantastic on them. When I could finally walk without crutches I really missed not being on them and would often use my custom crutches even going out in public on them, and it may seem crazy but I felt fantastic on them.

As Rick was leaving he said, you know Larry, I'm gay and I said me also and he said takes one to know one! All I could think about the rest of the day was when I could swing my stump on my custom crutches.

It was after midnight when the door opened and in swung Rick on a pair of custom black lacquer crutches. He flipped his stump onto the handle of his crutch, smiled and said what do you think, buddy? Man those crutches are fantastic, I said and I've got to get me a pair. Larry, I have to tell you my story, he told me that his best buddy in high school had one leg and used crutches and how his stump fascinated him and how the fascination turned into an obsession to have one leg. He'd always wanted to be a doctor and in med school decided to be an orthopedic surgeon. Meanwhile he got himself a pair of crutches and pretended as an amputee every chance he got. When he went into practice he met another orthopedic doctor and as their relationship developed they realized that they both had a strong interest in amputees. He said he finally admitted to his friend that he wanted to have his leg amputated. After months of talk his friend was finally convinced and did his amputation. He'd never had a minute of regret and his friend finally had the one legged guy he'd always dreamed of. His buddy had all his crutches custom made for him and he only used his limb at his office or at the hospital, always using his crutches at home and when they went out! I asked what happened to his friend and he said he'd been killed on his motorcycle three years ago and what hell he'd gone through. Then he gently began to massage my stump and said Larry, I think we've got an incredible future and I agreed.