Orientation at State University lasted only the two days, Monday and Tuesday. The next day, Wednesday, the four musketeers, Jeff, Olney, Billy and Eddie, all got up early because they couldn’t sleep. It was a big day for them: their first day of classes at the university.

They went off to the Athletic Center to do their laps. When they returned, Olney was first to get into the shower so Jeff went in and tried showering with him. Olney said "No." Jeff was pretty frustrated with Olney’s behavior. Olney refused because he was afraid he would not be able to get hard for Jeff. When he finished, Jeff showered alone and then Billy showered. Eddie used the bathtub in the communal shower/bathroom. While Jeff waited around to go to breakfast with the group he checked his email. There were no answers to the email messages he had sent to his teachers. Jeff sent Olney an email message asking him if something was bothering him (again? ... still?).

They had breakfast in their cafeteria and then got their books and notebooks together for that day’s classes. They all had 9AM classes, each in a different part of campus. As they left their quad, they slapped hands: "All for one and one for all."

Jeff’s first class was Physics I. It went well. The teacher was interesting and he said that there was a discussion "bulletin board" on the computer for his class. He said they could ask questions and discuss course material there if they wished but asked them to make sure they identified themselves. Jeff spoke briefly with him at the end of class. Jeff liked him.

Jeff’s next class was Calculus III in the same building. The teacher was very dry. He wrote everything on the board. The students only had to copy everything word-for-word to have excellent notes. Jeff went up after class and told him he was the person who sent him email. He wanted to know if he could ask questions by email.

"I don’t use email. I never read it. I won’t answer it. You’ll have to ask questions in class."

Jeff told him that would probably be hard for him. The teacher looked away and didn’t reply.

After that, Jeff had a break, so he went to lunch in his residence hall. He was eating very early, so there were only a few people there. It didn’t take long to eat lunch so he had some time before his next class to check his email. Still no replies from his teachers. Nothing from Olney, either.

Jeff’s next class was at noon. Bonehead English. A pretty young woman taught it. They all sat with their desks in a circle in the classroom. They each had to say a few words about themselves. Jeff found that he wasn’t the only person there with speech and reading/writing problems. He spoke very quietly and so managed to struggle through his part without too much trouble. The teacher read the information for student who was mute.

The teacher was very nice. She said she would help them not only with their class work, but she would also help them with work in other classes if they needed it. She gave them their first assignment: write a long essay on a subject of their own choosing. It would be due later in the semester. Jeff wondered if Olney would help him. He wondered if he should even ask.

After English, Jeff had a break. He went to the math building to see his math teacher. He made Jeff very nervous. He had a hard time speaking with his math teacher, so he wrote questions on a pad of paper. The teacher wasn’t very helpful.

"Look. Why don’t you first try to do the problems I assigned today? Then, if you have difficulties you can come by and ask questions about them. You really need to think about the material first."

Jeff’s last class of the day was Introduction to Engineering for Computer Engineers. The teacher had two assistants helping him. One was the quarterback that didn’t like Jeff. The class met five days a week: Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the classroom for lecture and Tuesday and Thursday in a laboratory for lab work. Josh was in the class, too. He sat next to Jeff in the lecture. Jeff looked at his notes. They were beautiful – unlike Jeff’s. They decided to be lab partners. From the plan the teacher handed out, it sounded as if the class would be very interesting.

After Jeff’s last class, he went back to his quad and dropped off his books, picked up his gym bag and headed off for exercise and his job. His job was only 2 hours per day during the week and 5 hours per day on Saturday and Sunday, a total of 20 hours per week. Olney had the same schedule during the week but did not have to work on Saturday or Sunday. He only had to work 10 hours per week.

When Jeff arrived at the Team Locker Room, he saw that Olney wasn’t there yet, so he started by cleaning up the obvious messes. Olney arrived about 15 minutes later. They fell into their old routine, working smoothly together. The two hours passed quickly. Other members of the cleaning team arrived when they left to do their laps and work out in the weight room.

After dinner, Jeff went into his room to attack math problems. Olney came in once or twice to ask questions about the math problems he had been assigned. He seemed to be having fewer problems with his assignment than Jeff was having. Other than the discussions about math, they did not have much to say to each other.

Thursday was Jeff’s problem session day for Calculus III. The teaching assistant worked through a couple of examples that he already understood. Jeff went up after class and asked the assistant if he would give him his email address so he could write him questions.

On Thursday Jeff had his History I class, "Western Civilization," that covered, among other things, the Greeks and Romans. The teacher was excellent. Jeff loved listening to him. After class, Jeff asked him if he could ask questions by email. He said he would answer email questions as he had time, but said he was learning how to develop and use a course "chat room" where he and the students in his class could have discussions at scheduled times. He said he was still learning how to use it, but when he was ready, he planned to tell the class about it. He was older, very distinguished looking, well dressed and very reserved, but seemed comfortable speaking with Jeff.

Jeff’s last class was Introduction to Engineering for Computer Engineers. Tuesday and Thursday were lab days, so he went to the laboratory. Josh and Jeff sat at one of the lab tables as lab partners but needed a third person to complete their lab group. All the other guys in the class joined other groups. The only person left was an extremely beautiful young woman named Keri Williams. None of the others seemed to want her in their group. Josh asked her if she would like to join them. She said, "Sure."

Their lab instructor was the quarterback. When he distributed the lab information to Jeff’s lab group, he stopped next to him and, referring to Olney, said, "Where is the one-legged guy with the crutches? Isn’t he here to protect you?"

It seemed strange to Jeff that the subjects he feared the most, history and English, were his favorites and the subjects he loved the most, math and engineering, were adding up to be miserable experiences. He was finding out that life isn’t always what you expect.

Friday was a repeat of Wednesday for Jeff. He showed the math teacher where he was having problems with the course. The teacher simply wasn’t helpful. He suggested Jeff talk with the teaching assistant. Jeff’s next problem session with the teaching assistant would be on Tuesday and somehow Jeff doubted whether he would be helpful either. Jeff was very discouraged.

Friday night, when Jeff got back from dinner he went directly to bed and pulled the covers up over his head. He was so upset he just wanted to sleep. No one, including Olney, seemed to notice. His quadmates were all ready to go out and have fun. They all left and Jeff lay in bed thinking that maybe he should drop out of school. He didn’t know how he could ever succeed at State University. High school had been bad, but at least his teachers had been helpful. For Jeff, this was worse. Far, far worse. His one big chance was slipping away from him.

Saturday Jeff got up early and swam laps, lifted weights and ran around the track. Then he went to a late breakfast and started work in the Team Locker Room. When the football team started arriving for practice, he left for lunch. He finished his work while the members of the football team were practicing on the field. After finishing work, he went to the library and found some calculus books. He carried a pile back to his quad. By the time he got back, his quadmates were gone. He sat down at his desk and began working on math. He made some progress because he found some good examples in the library books but he was still having difficulties with most of the problems.

At dinnertime, Jeff went to dinner. His quadmates were not there. Even Josh was not around. He saw Kevin sitting alone, so went over to eat with him. Kevin was painfully shy and Jeff had a hard time talking to him. It turned out that he, like Josh, had a single room.

He was majoring in computer science. Jeff asked him if he had any classes with Olney. He said he didn’t think so.

Kevin did not use his prosthetic arm at all when he was eating. He let it rest in his lap and ate one-handed. When they got up to carry their trays to the conveyor belt, Jeff noticed that Kevin used his split prosthetic hook to help carry the tray. The elbow seemed to be locked at an angle to make that possible.

After dinner, Jeff tried working on his long essay. Jeff felt that Olney was ignoring him so he decided to write it by himself. He wanted to express the feelings he had Tuesday evening during their discussion of the short story, "Labyrinth." Eventually he got discouraged, so he went to bed. He slept so soundly he didn’t hear his quadmates come in.

Sunday was a repeat of Saturday except that Jeff was very depressed. He didn’t swim laps or exercise because he didn’t think it was worth the effort. He did his job, cleaning out the whirlpool and hosing down and scrubbing the showers. As he was leaving, Coach Gelling saw him and asked him to come to his office.

"I’ve got some good news for you. You’ve been accepted as a member of the SU varsity swim team. I’m making up the list, now."

There was a time when Jeff would have been excited by the news. He thanked Coach for the information and got up to leave.

Jeff told him it was OK so far, that their first assignment didn’t seem too hard and the teacher had a bulletin board where they could post questions and have discussions about the material.

Jeff told him and said that the guy was going to have a "chat room" where they could ask questions and discuss the material.

"You’re lucky having him as your teacher. He’s famous. He’s a great teacher, too. He’s won all sorts of awards. It sounds as if you like ‘chat rooms’ and bulletin boards."

Jeff told him he really felt uncomfortable speaking in public because of his stutter and had sent email to all of his teachers asking if he could email questions to them. None had responded yet. He told him the math teacher and the math teaching assistant weren’t helpful at all.

"Why don’t you go talk to the chair of the math department? I’m sure she can help you out."

"In the math office in the math building. Go over there first thing Monday morning. What else are you taking?"

"That’s your major, isn’t it? Do you like what you’re going to be learning?"

Jeff told him that his lab instructor was the quarterback of the football team, that he came from the same high school he did and that he made tenth grade a living hell for him, calling him "the stuttering faggot." He told him about the incident in the Team Locker Room.

Jeff told him that Josh and he were lab partners and that a beautiful young woman named Keri Williams was the third member of their lab group.

"Why don’t you tell Josh and Keri about the problem and have them look out for you? Then, if there is a problem with your lab instructor all three of you can go to the teacher for help. What else are you taking?"

Jeff told him he was taking bonehead English. He said they had to write a big essay.

Jeff told him that Josh and he and his quadmates had all listened to the short story "Labyrinth" last Tuesday evening and that he wasn’t sure but he might write about being great versus being normal.

"I remember reading the story many years ago. It is only lately that I have come to the conclusion that the story applies to able-bodied people as well as to those of us with obvious disabilities. What did Josh think of the story?"

Jeff told him that Josh liked it but that Olney didn’t think Josh could appreciate it because he was normal.

"You remember what I said about disabilities? Sometimes the invisible ones are the hardest ones to handle. I think your idea for the essay is an excellent one. Please let me read it when you get it back after your teacher grades it."

When Jeff got back to his quad, his quadmates were gone, so he went to Sunday brunch and found them in the cafeteria. He asked them what their plans were. Billy was going over to the music building and practice some pieces on the French horn. Eddie had been placed in an advanced French class, so he was going to work on his French pronunciation in the language lab. Olney was going to do math problems and start on a computer program he had been assigned. They asked Jeff what he was going to do. He said he wanted to learn how to use Billy’s computerized reading machine so he could study English and history.

Billy showed him how to run the machine and he had it read the first several chapters of the history book to him. Then he reread them on his own, making notes in his notebook alongside his notes from the teacher’s lecture. He helped Olney with math when he asked for it. When he played with his dick, Jeff asked him why he didn’t let him do that for him.

Jeff told him that Josh was lonely and hadn’t made any friends yet. He said he hoped they could all be friends with him. Maybe Josh would turn out OK if he had some friends.

Jeff stroked Olney’s dick and, stuttering badly, told him that he liked guys, too.

"Yeah. But you’re OK. You have a disability, too. And you didn’t take that crap from Eddie’s ‘dad.’ I’m so proud of you. You knew exactly what to do when those guys took my name off the tryout list. You helped Billy. You’re a real stand-up kind of guy. You’re a real man. Besides, I like it when you look at me and touch me and talk to me."

Jeff hugged him. He whispered in his ear. "Why don’t you let me shower with you? I really enjoyed that."

"I don’t want our quadmates to start wondering whether I’m normal, too. I don’t want to get a reputation as a queer."

Jeff told him he preferred Olneys – he preferred him. Jeff asked Olney what he preferred.

"I’m not sure. I liked it when we showered together. I like touching you. I liked taking care of you with my hands. I like it when you touch me. I especially like it when you look at me and talk to me. I guess I’m not ready for more. I’ve never been with a girl. I don’t know what I prefer."

On Monday morning Jeff got up early to do his laps and was already taking a shower when Olney came into the bathroom. He wouldn’t do anything with him. More frustration.

Jeff rushed out of the quad to breakfast and then to the math department. When he got there, the office was still closed. He sat down on the floor next to the door. About fifteen minutes later a young woman came by and opened the office. He went in and told her quietly that he wanted to see the chair of the department. She told him to take a seat, that the chair would be in soon. He sat in the office working on his math problems. The secretary asked him if he wanted some coffee. He declined because he had just had breakfast. Eventually the nice math lady, Dr. Testeronomy, arrived. It turned out she was chair of the math department.

Jeff told her he was taking her up on her offer of help. Even though he was speaking quietly, he was so nervous he stuttered badly. She got some coffee and invited him into her office.

Jeff told her he was having problems getting help from his math teacher and from the math teaching assistant.

"Why don’t you tell me what you need help with. I’ll see if I can help you over your difficulties."

He showed her the problems and she worked through them with him, explaining the hard parts. In about half an hour, Jeff felt much better. He needed to go to his first class, so he asked her if he could come back for more help later. She explained that her day was usually busy but that if he needed help he should drop into the office and check with the secretary or send her email so see when/if she was available. She was extremely nice to Jeff.

Jeff told her that Olney seemed to be having fewer problems with his assignment than he was having with his.

"Well, if he ever has problems you can’t help him with, you should both come and talk to me. I’ll be glad to help."

After dinner all four of them went over to the Athletic Center to see who did and who did not make the swim teams. They were happy that all four of them had made the teams. They celebrated by having a last ice cream at the student union. Tomorrow, their training would start in earnest.

Tuesday, before lab, Jeff told Josh about his problem with their lab instructor. He asked him to watch to make sure he was being treated fairly. Before he could speak with Keri, the quarterback came up to her and said, "How’d you like the football party Saturday night?"

Jeff decided he probably couldn’t depend on her for help. He wondered how he should handle it. That afternoon he saw Coach Gelling and he suggested Jeff play it cool and not say anything to her. He suggested Jeff check his work against hers and Josh’s so he could see what mistakes he was making or find out if he was being treated unfairly.

Later that evening Jeff completed the last of his math homework problems and did several extra ones. In the end, he found them to be easier than he expected – once he knew how to do them. He also worked on his big essay using some of the suggestions from his bonehead English class.

Olney came by once to see Jeff for math help and once he asked him for help with his computer program. Jeff was able to help him even though he wasn’t taking the programming class. He let Jeff handle and stroke him, but he didn’t allow him to go any further. Jeff asked him why he was pushing him away now after he took care of him that very first time in the shower, but Olney wouldn’t answer.

Billy showed Jeff the new sunglasses he had ordered from the website. They had arrived that day. They looked really sweet, very hi-tech. Billy couldn’t wait to try them outside in the sun.

Once Jeff got over his problems with math, things started going more smoothly for him. Gradually, week after week, he became more confident and his grades reflected it. When he had problems in math he spoke with the chair of the math department and she usually was able to help him fairly quickly. He spoke with the math teacher and the teaching assistant as little as possible. He did as many extra math problems as he could and even started trying to do the more difficult problems marked with a star in the calculus textbook. Dr. Testeronomy gave him help with them, too, and he began to get better at them as well.

The "chat room" and bulletin board were very helpful to Jeff. Physics and history were both going well.

Jeff’s bonehead English class was going well, too. Everyone in the class had some sort of language problem. The teacher was very good and they started to come together as a class, celebrating their successes. He was still working on his big essay. It was a lot harder to write than he thought. He decided to make it more personal. Besides that essay, the teacher gave them a lot of work. They wrote short essays and stories but their big project for the first part of the course was that long essay.

Jeff found the Introduction to Engineering class extremely interesting. His lab grades were not as good as Josh’s and Keri’s but he realized that they wrote better than he did. He asked for help from his English teacher and his reports and grades both improved. He didn’t ask Olney for help. He stayed away from the quarterback as much as possible.

Eddie was majoring in romance languages. Speaking Romanian as a child was a big help in that major.

Billy enjoyed his music classes a lot and appreciated the instruction he was receiving. The only class giving him trouble was music theory. He liked his new sunglasses a lot and bought another pair, less dark, to use indoors in lower light. He looked great wearing them. He became much more self-assured.

Olney was learning math more rapidly and easily than he had during the summer. He loved his major, computer science.

Socially, things were going well, too. As the weeks passed, Josh started hanging around their quad more and more. He seemed much happier and he enjoyed being around Eddie a lot. Eddie liked Josh, too. Even Olney relaxed around Josh a little.

Jeff was able to speak with Kevin from time to time. He learned he had been in an automobile accident two years before and that was how he had lost both his left arm and left leg. Kevin told him he was nervous around him because he stared at him. Jeff told him he was nervous around him because he didn’t speak well and had trouble talking with him. They agreed to try to become more relaxed around each other. Jeff invited him to visit their quad. Kevin said that maybe he’d visit sometime.

Keri would stop in from time to time to work on the Introduction to Engineering class with Jeff. Neither Olney nor Eddie showed any special interest in her. Billy showed a lot of interest in her.

So, everything was going great except for the relationship between Jeff and Olney -- if any. Olney didn’t show any interest in Keri – or any other girl for that matter – so Jeff assumed he was not straight. He couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t let them become closer. Jeff wondered and worried about him....

Josh and Jeff attended the gay-straight alliance meetings. Olney kept putting them off, saying he was busy and he might attend later. Eddie wouldn’t go anywhere near the alliance even though Josh asked him repeatedly.

Olney, Eddie and Jeff attended the organization for students with disabilities. Eventually, Kevin attended those meetings, too. Gradually, Kevin became less shy around Jeff.

Billy refused to have anything to do with either the organization for students with disabilities or the gay-straight alliance. He came from a very conservative religious family.

Jeff’s home life was not going well. His grandmother wrote to him almost every week. She kept him informed about his mother and sister. It was mostly bad news: Heather’s boyfriend was back in prison. His mother had started drinking again although she was going to meetings for alcoholics fairly regularly. She had gotten fired from her job and his dad’s support payments to her had been reduced because of his support for Jeff’s education. Jeff wondered how they were doing financially. He guessed they were living on his mom’s unemployment checks. He wondered how long things could go on like that.

His grandmother also said that his mom and Heather were arguing constantly now that he was out of the house. When Jeff was home, he could usually manage to smooth things over and watch the money to make sure his mother didn’t use it for alcohol. Now it sounded as if things were worse than when he was at home. It was pretty discouraging.

Jeff really enjoyed State University. He had developed a good set of friends and he felt that maybe someday Olney and he could build the kind of relationship he wanted. He felt more at home with his quadmates at SU than he ever did with his mother and sister at home.

Swimming and conditioning were going well for all of them. Their times were improving steadily under the direction of the coaches. Olney was an important member of the regular team with excellent times. Billy, Eddie and Kevin were doing very well on the disabled team.

Jeff liked the fact that Josh helped out in the cardio-conditioning lab. He always felt better when Josh was around. He knew Jeff had trouble speaking and he watched him carefully during the tests to make sure he was OK. Jeff felt safe around him.

The swimming teams seemed like a second home to Jeff. He loved hanging around the Athletic Center. It had study rooms where he could study between classes, work and practice and it was near the library.

In order to help them improve their times, Coach Renger asked them to swim in a large, deep tank of moving water. The speed of the water was adjusted so that they stayed in the same place as they swam forward through the water. If they stopped swimming, they would be swept backward by the current. It was like a water treadmill. It was huge.

"The Tank" had windows through which the coaches could watch them or make videotapes. It was pretty complicated to operate and a number of assistants worked with the coaches. Jeff wasn’t impressed with the dedication of the assistants and was always uneasy when he had to use The Tank. There was an emergency cutoff if something went wrong, but the assistants never seemed to stand near it.

Jeff had his "time in The Tank" first. The coaches were concerned about his swimming form. They took videotapes as he swam in The Tank. They gradually adjusted his form so that the water produced less resistance as he swam. Their many suggestions helped him improve his times. In high school he used a brief when he swam in competition and they asked him to switch to a jammer to see if that improved his times. It did.

Billy was the second one of them to do "time in The Tank." The coaches spent quite a bit of time with Billy to help him improve his form. He watched the videos they recorded and tried very hard to do as they asked. He always swam using a jammer.

The first time Billy used The Tank, Jeff got Josh to come over and show him how to use the emergency cutoff. They spent some time standing near it and talking until the coach that was working with Billy asked them to leave: they were interfering with his work. They didn’t feel bad about that because the coach usually stood next to the cutoff as he yelled to Billy in the water.

Olney also had his "time in The Tank." He was very graceful in the water. He swam like a dolphin, the leg sweeping up and down, the large foot acting like a dolphin’s tail. Jeff stood by the emergency cutoff for The Tank to make sure he wasn’t injured if something went wrong. Nothing did. Olney used a competition brief that was sewn closed on the right hand side. It was a poor job of sewing and the brief had a lot of wrinkles and bulges. The coaches did not seem to have any suggestions for him. Jeff wondered if they couldn’t modify a jammer for him.

Eddie had his "time in The Tank" too. The coaches were concerned that Eddie’s lump was slowing him down. He swam with it hanging down from his competition brief. They wanted him to stuff it inside but he needed to sew the right leg opening closed to make that work. He spent a lot of "time in The Tank" and Josh always came over to stand next to the emergency cutoff when he practiced. Josh also helped him into and out of The Tank. Eddie loved the attention and needed the help because of his polio leg.

Kevin also had his "time in The Tank." He had learned to swim when he had four limbs. Now he needed to modify his form to get the most out of the two limbs he had left and the two short stumps. Josh or Jeff always tried to be around when Kevin was in The Tank.

Kevin hated to be helped, so Josh and Jeff had to explain that they were around just to stand near the cutoff so that if anything went wrong, they could shut off the current in the tank quickly. He seemed to accept their concern for his safety.

The third time Kevin practiced in The Tank, Jeff was standing next to the cutoff, looking over the edge, watching him swim. Suddenly, Kevin started thrashing around, the two stumps windmilling rapidly in the water. The assistants were not close by so Jeff hit the cutoff and reached down into the tank to grab Kevin. Jeff grabbed him around the chest to pull him up. Even though the pumps had stopped, there still was some residual current in the tank and Jeff had difficulty pulling him up. The stumps kept thrashing wildly. Jeff finally got the nub of his left arm over his shoulder and heaved him up enough so his head was out of the water. He was coughing and choking so badly that he kept slipping back down. Jeff reached down and cupped his left hand along the side of the stump of his left leg. Because his two short stumps were now supporting him, he was finally able to use his right leg and arm to stand up in the tank. He choked and coughed and finally threw up all over Jeff.

The assistants ran over and asked Kevin to sit in a chair next to The Tank until he felt better. After he stopped gasping and choking, he asked Jeff to help him get cleaned up. Both of them were a mess.

Kevin usually wore a prosthetic leg, but he was wet and shivering so Jeff decided not to help him put it on. He told Kevin he would help him hop into the team locker room if he wanted to do it that way. He didn’t seem to care so Jeff stood him up on his leg and put his nub over his shoulder again. He supported his leg stump in his cupped hand without touching the sensitive end and they walked slowly into the team locker room. Jeff sat him down on a bench and went back and got his prosthetic leg and gym bag. The leg was flesh-colored plastic and looked pretty good cosmetically. Jeff was surprised it was so light.

Jeff went over to his locker, took off his clothes and put on his shower sandals. He went back to Kevin, stood him up and helped him remove his swimming briefs. Then, using his nub and stump, Jeff helped him into the shower room and they washed off. Jeff knew that since Kevin had only one arm he couldn’t wash it properly, so he washed his arm and his back for him. Kevin washed himself very slowly but managed to get pretty clean. He didn’t look at Jeff or say anything as they showered. Jeff was happy he didn’t get hard in front of Kevin.

When they were done, Jeff helped him hop back to his locker. He had clean towels for both of them, but Kevin sat there without moving while Jeff dried off. When Jeff was done and had wrapped a towel around himself, he asked Kevin if he wanted help drying off. Jeff was stuttering pretty badly, so it took a while for Kevin to understand. He wouldn’t look at Jeff. He just kept looking down.

"You saved my life. I would have drowned if you hadn’t been there. I got a cramp and then a lung-full of water. I couldn’t seem to be able to stand up and get my head above the water. And then you were there pulling me up. Thank you."

Jeff smiled and squatted down in front of him. He tried to speak, but was locked up again. Jeff looked up into his face. Kevin didn’t look back at him.

The arm stump was just a short nub. It had a faint scar straight across the end. There was a slight bulge near the end.

The leg stump was short, too. It had a surgical scar on the bottom in back and was tapered. Jeff watched him move his stumps.

Jeff stood up, took one of the towels on the bench and started drying his arm, his back and his chest. Then, when he didn’t react, Jeff dried his small nub. He still didn’t react, so Jeff squatted down again and motioned for him to stand up and put his hand on his shoulder for balance. He dried his stump and his leg. Jeff noticed Kevin looking down at him, frowning. Jeff’s towel had fallen off and Kevin could see he was hard.

Jeff picked up his towel, went back to his locker and put on a clean pair of athletic shorts and a tee shirt. He wrapped up his dirty shoes and clothing and put them in his gym bag. He’d walk back to his quad in the shower sandals.

When he got back to Kevin, he was sitting down not doing anything. Jeff stood him up, put a clean towel on the bench and sat him back down on it. He dried his hair and finished up everything except his stuff. He didn’t look up. Jeff wanted to put his prosthetic leg on but he didn’t know how to do it. He got the leg and put it next to him on the bench. Jeff rooted around in Kevin’s gym bag and found a long sleeve sweatshirt and a pair of long sweatpants for him to wear. The prosthetic arm was not in his gym bag.

Not knowing what else to do, Jeff waited. Gradually, Kevin finished drying himself off and finally looked at him. Because he was still not speaking well, Jeff made motions as he asked about his prosthetic arm.

He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to put on his leg and go back to his room, so Jeff sat down next to him on the bench. He tried to speak to him quietly without stuttering. Gradually, he was able to speak better.

"You saw. My body’s no good. I nearly drowned. I used to be a great swimmer." He moved his stumps again. "I like girls. Girls used to like me. In high school, before the accident, I was somebody; I was popular. After the accident, I was nobody. All my old friends avoided me. I was just a guy with a couple of stumps. Girls avoided me. No girl would want me now because of these. What’s the use?"

"Because I didn’t speak well, I was never popular in high school. I envied the popular guys. I saw that they had friends. I didn’t have any friends. You knew what it was like to be popular and have friends ... at least for a while. I never had that."

Kevin turned and looked Jeff full in the face. His eyes showed sadness as well as fear. "You never had any friends in high school?"

"Guys like me are rare. If a guy like me appreciates you, then there must be girls on this campus who would also appreciate you. You only have to find them."

"Where? I can’t do most things, so how would I find them? It’s hopeless. I think it would be easier to give up just like I did in high school."

"Why don’t you come to our quad tonight for some entertainment. Billy’s computer can read stories to us. We have already heard two short stories from a book. There’s one left. Come on over. I’ll invite my pretty lab partner, Keri. She comes over a lot. She’s really nice. I’ll introduce you to her. Give me your phone number."

Kevin gave Jeff his phone number. Jeff got a pen out of his gym bag and wrote it on his hand. "Promise me you’ll come if I can get Keri to come."

They sat for a while longer. Finally Kevin put on his sweatshirt, put the sweat pants over his prosthetic leg and put it on his stump. Jeff watched him carefully as he did it. He showed him how the leg worked.

"The leg is held on by suction. This valve releases air as I force my stump down into the leg. Then, when I close the valve, the leg won’t come off."

Eventually, Kevin was ready to go. They each picked up their gym bags and headed out. Jeff decided to accompany Kevin to his room to make sure he got back OK. About halfway back, his leg started making noises.

"I guess my stump wasn’t sealed into the leg correctly. I think I can make it do farting noises."

He walked a little differently and the noises got louder. Eventually, he managed to make a very loud farting noise. "I’ve got the walking farts!"

By the time they got back to Kevin’s room, they were both laughing so hard they were choking. Kevin’s room had its own shower, so Kevin took off his clothes and showered again using an aluminum crutch under his nub. The bar on the crutch was set low enough so that he could rest his left leg stump on it and, by reaching around, use his right hand along with his nub to guide the crutch. It wasn’t elegant, but it worked.

While he showered, Jeff noticed a second prosthetic leg in a wheelchair. The leg looked very hi-tech. He guessed it was the one Kevin usually used. The prosthetic arm was also there. Jeff examined them carefully.

When Kevin returned from the shower, he dried himself off and displayed his stumps to Jeff. "You like guys, don’t you?"

Jeff spoke quietly. "Suppose a girl likes your stumps. Would that be perverted?"

"In the locker room, you were upset saying no girl would want you because of your stumps. Now you are saying that no girl should want you and if she did want you she’d be a pervert and you wouldn’t like her. That’s a no-win set of attitudes. Either she doesn’t like your stumps and doesn’t like you, or she does like your stumps, so she’s a pervert, and you can’t like her. In both cases, you end up without a girlfriend."

Jeff was so angry, he cut him off. "You hate your stumps and think everyone else should hate them, too. How is a girl ever going to love you if she’s supposed to hate part of you? ... and how can she ever love you if you won’t let her?"

They sat quietly for a while. Jeff asked him how he felt about guys like him – devotees.

"I don’t like you staring at me. I think your interest in my stumps is creepy. It’s bad enough to lose the limbs, but then to have creepy people staring at you and getting hard...."

"Even if it’s a woman, it’s still creepy. I hate being stared at by women, too. I knew one who thought I was a ‘hero’ and an ‘inspiration’ because I had lost an arm and a leg. That’s so stupid. I couldn’t stand being around her."

His eyes flashed with anger and he started talking louder. As he talked he got angrier and angrier and Jeff saw a different Kevin. It was as if a fog lifted and he saw Kevin clearly for the first time, a different Kevin, the Kevin that used to be.

No longer the painfully shy amputee ashamed of his stumps, he became an outgoing, forceful, confident man: he became the Kevin that could have been, that would have been, had he not lost an arm and a leg. And for the first time, Jeff knew in his heart how awfully devastating the accident had been for Kevin, not in terms of the stumps, but in terms of what happened to him as a person: it had nearly destroyed him as a person.

"I used to believe in God. Then, after the accident, I stopped believing. I couldn’t understand how he could do this to me, why he would do this to me."

"Yes. If there’s a God, he should take care of people. Do you believe in God?"

"Haven’t you ever asked yourself how God could create something sick like you?" He was very bitter and angry.

"No, there’s a reason for us. We have a purpose. Do you think dogs are creepy?"

Jeff asked Kevin to fire up his computer and do a web search on ‘Johnny Morehouse’ and ‘dog’. While they waited Jeff reminded him that they were going to hear a story tonight and he was going to invite his beautiful lab partner, Keri. Jeff told him he would introduce him to her if he came over to hear the story.

"Yep. How about ‘An amputee and his dev?’ The little dog tried and failed. I succeeded." Without another word, Jeff picked up his smelly gym bag and walked out, head held high.

When Jeff got back to his quad, he put his gym bag in his room and went off to dinner. He saw his quadmates there and told them that he wanted another get-together that evening so the computer could read them the third short story, "Borders of Infinity." He told them he wanted to invite Josh, Kevin and Keri.

When they got back to their quad from dinner, Jeff showed Eddie Kevin’s phone number and told him to call Kevin once he got Keri to agree to come. He told them he needed to take some of his clothes down the hall to the laundry.

When Jeff was coming back from the laundry, Keri arrived. She was curious about the computer that could read stories and showed up early so Billy could demonstrate it. When Billy and Keri came out of his bedroom, Billy asked: "What’s that smell in our room?"

Jeff told him the smell was vomit -- that Kevin had thrown up on him. He told him he was washing his clothes down the hall and would wash off his athletic shoes and gym bag, too, to get rid of the smell.

Kevin was the last to show up. He was in a wheelchair and wore a tee shirt and shorts. The tips of his nub and stump were just visible. Jeff asked him what happened.

"Because my leg didn’t fit tight this afternoon, it rubbed on my stump. It caused an abrasion that could keep me from using my leg. I’m resting my stump until it feels better." He pulled up the leg of his shorts and Jeff saw that the stump was red in places. Josh and Keri were as interested in his stumps as Jeff was. They all stared.

Billy was curious about what had happened to cause Kevin to throw up. "Why’d you throw up on Jeff?"

"I was stupid. I ate something that didn’t agree with me before going into the swimming tank. I got a cramp and inhaled a lung full of water. Jeff was standing near the emergency cutoff. He shut the tank off and then pulled me out. He took care of me. If he hadn’t done that, I might have drowned. After he helped me stand up, I was choking so I threw up on him."

Josh’s eyes were shining. So were Eddie’s. They looked at each other and smiled. As Jeff looked back and forth between them, he suddenly realized they were in love.

Olney was puzzled so he asked Jeff, "Why were you watching Kevin swim in The Tank?"

Before Jeff could say anything, Josh answered. "Jeff was the first to use The Tank. He thought it was dangerous and was concerned that the assistants didn’t stand next to the emergency cutoff to hit it if anything went wrong. He asked me to be there all the time for Eddie and asked me if I could be there sometimes for Kevin, too."

Eddie chimed in, "Whenever Kevin or Olney or I were in The Tank, Josh and Jeff made sure one of them was there to hit the cutoff if anything went wrong."

When no one else had anything else to say, Jeff spoke very quietly without stuttering: "I was worried. All for one and one for all."

Eddie answered. "We decided we would help each other out. You know, ‘All for one and one for all.’ Right Olney?"

Finally, Keri looked around at all of them with a frown. "So, Jeff and Josh were there for Kevin and Josh was there for Eddie. Who was there for Olney?"

"Jeff and I were there for him until his coach asked us to leave. The coach was always close to the cutoff so we weren’t worried about him."

"I’m not on the team, so I don’t use the tank. I work in the cardio lab down the hall."

There was no answer. Kevin looked around the room. "Didn’t Jeff need someone to be there for him in case something went wrong? After all, he’d have trouble yelling for help, right?"

Jeff asked them to wait while he put his clothes in the dryer. He grabbed his gym bag and shoes and went to the laundry room to wash them off. Olney followed him. While he washed out his gym bag, cleaned off his shoes and moved his clothes from the washer to the dryer, they talked.

"He saw I was interested in his stumps. He thinks that’s creepy. I don’t think he likes me."

"You’ve got a great leg. I really like it. But, I like you for other reasons, too. You treat me well. You are very handsome and smart. You wait while I try to speak and you listen to me. You don’t ignore me. You make me feel important. I feel comfortable around you. You make me feel good. I like you a lot. You’re my best friend. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me."

Jeff went over to Olney and threw his arms around him. That was the first time Jeff had hugged Olney when he was using his crutches. Because Jeff leaned against him, Olney hopped back and adjusted his crutches. Jeff moved up against him again and kissed him on the neck. He didn’t leave a hickey.

"I wish we could always be close like this. I enjoyed being with you this past summer."

Olney didn’t reply because exactly at that moment the door to the laundry slammed open and three guys came in to do their laundry. Olney pushed Jeff away. Jeff dried the gym bag and shoes with paper towels, and, without another word, he carried them back to their quad.

While they were in the laundry room, the pizzas had arrived. All seven of them shared the cost of the pizza and sodas. Jeff sat at the table between Olney and Kevin. Kevin and Eddie were in their wheelchairs and Keri sat between them. Josh sat next to Eddie and Billy sat in his bedroom operating the computer. Keri made sure Kevin had the pizza and soda he wanted. Josh did the same for Eddie.

Once, when they paused the computer so Billy could get some pizza, Jeff went back to the laundry for his dried clothes. Olney went with him. The laundry room was empty, so Jeff asked Olney how he wanted their friendship to develop.

"It seems that sometimes when we get close, you just push me away – like earlier."

Olney didn’t say anything. Jeff wanted to hug and kiss him again, but Olney turned away. There didn’t seem to be much more to say, so Jeff carried his laundry back to their quad and they resumed the story.

When the story was over there was dead silence. Everyone seemed saddened by the death of one of the characters.

Kevin spoke first. "After I lost my leg and my arm, I wanted to kill myself. I actually tried once, but it’s a little hard when you have only one arm and one leg. I like this story because it’s about hope. I didn’t know how much I wanted to live until I nearly drowned today. Jeff saved my life in more ways than one. Like Miles in the story, he brought hope to me. Thanks Jeff." He held his hand up and, after a pause, they slapped hands.

Olney said he didn’t believe much in hope. "Sometimes things are just hopeless."

Keri asked if the "scripture" from the story was real. Billy told her it was from "Pilgrim’s Progress."

No one else said anything, so Eddie, Josh and Jeff started cleaning up the table. Olney crutched into his room. In his chair, Kevin followed Olney.

Kevin confronted Olney: "Did you mean it when you said, ‘all for one and one for all’ or was that just hot air? How come you weren’t there for Jeff?"

Jeff heard the exchange and got embarrassed, so he left with the garbage and threw it out.

When he got back, Kevin was in their lounge looking at Olney’s closed door. He muttered "asshole" and turned toward Keri, Billy, Jeff, Josh and Eddie.

Billy asked Keri if he could walk her back to her residence hall. Keri asked Kevin if she could push him back. Those three also left together.

Finally, only Olney and Jeff were left, separated by a closed door. Jeff went into his room to get ready for bed.

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